One Under Par

A Newsletter from KeyGolf ...May l, 2001

DEALING WITH EMOTION ON THE COURSE

How does emotion affect the way we play golf? Indirectly, that question lingers as part of what players want to know.

The Clear Key is a thought process. It buffers our emotion long enough to execute a golf shot. It does not cancel emotion. It is not itself an emotional activity. It is a rational activity that manages emotion during shot-making.

We are subject to every range of emotions during a golf game. Most of that will be experienced as "agony," "ecstasy," or anxiety.

We have no choice about whether emotion will be present. It will be there, wanted or not. The problem is how to deal with it effectively during the game.

Emotion is part of everything we do, though we may not recognize it till it "bites" us. Opportunity to be "bitten" abounds during a golf game. "Bites" can be cumulative, scenarios numberless.

A poor tee shot on the first hole, a three putt green, hitting it stiff for birdie, a buried bunker shot, three great shots in a row, all create emotion. Some of it is pleasurable, some painful. We recognize the pain more than pleasure. That's how we are conditioned. But elation (pleasure) can get in our way, too. We can get such a "high" from a great shot that we forget to focus our attention on the next one.

So what do we do with all that? First of all, learn to recognize emotion. It follows a very reliable pattern. We can understand it. When something goes wrong, it produces pain every time. When something goes right, it produces pleasure every time. It makes no difference to our systems which one is there. Both have to be dealt with. We like pleasure, so generally speaking we have learned to be more adept at handling it and accepting it. Exceptional pleasure is just as difficult to deal with as pain, however.

We are more aware of pain, which inevitably produces anger (we tend to call it frustration). Pleasure always leads to joy (we tend to call it fun). If we aren't in the habit of recognizing our emotion as we are playing, we can see it in our "self-talk." When we "damn" what we are doing, pain is there. When we pat ourselves on the back, pleasure is there.

In golf, there is so much time between shots, and so many occasions for up's and down's, we get frazzled or over- confident before we know it.

How do we manage our emotions? Understand that emotion accompanies everything we do, whether we want it or not. Decide, in advance, to accept that and honor it. When we hit a good or a bad shot, give it its due, then dismiss it.

Set a time-frame for how long an emotional response will continue. If we miss a shot, do we need to be mad for the rest of the round, day, week, or how long?

The solution is simple, not simplistic. Admit the feeling. Express it to yourself. Set a time limit on its duration. If you three-putt a green, acknowledge to yourself that you didn't like it. Visualize your anger, but have an agreement with yourself that it's over the instant you tee the ball on the next hole.

Problems occur when we fail to consider how long or how severely we need to fret. Allowing it to happen, as though we had no control over it, or trying to over control or deny it is self-defeating.

It works like goal setting. A goal isn't a goal until we set a time to go with it. "I'll do it sometime" is not a goal statement. Neither is "When it's over, it's over."

It is important to remember that practice is required to develop the necessary skill to set limits on emotion. We can't practice it if we don't know what it is and how it works.

Emotion that is held in festers. Emotion that is released subsides. If you hit a bad shot, release your emotion, with a time limit determined in advance. Don't wait until you're knee deep in the situation before you try to figure it out. Then, on the next shot, you can focus your attention on your Clear Key and go on confidently.

Players have reported that sometimes they have trouble focusing on their Clear Key. If emotion is not released, it will boil until it is louder and stronger than the Key. If your Key is "not working," check the time-frame you have set (or failed to set) on your release of emotion. Then, stick with your Key. Better yet, use your Clear Key as a signal that reminds you it's time to "stop" emotional traffic before you "go" again.

===============================
Let us know if you have questions or comments.